Time to check the meds

This week is crippling me emotionally.  I should be okay, not the blubbering mess I've been.  Just thinking about the situation has me sobbing.  I called Jason last night after I completely lost my shit once I realized who is going to Thanksgiving at our friend's house.

At the after party for our neighbors reception, I talked with G about what happened at the beach.  When he drinks, he becomes a fucking nightmare asshole.  He offends everyone and giggles while doing so.  He shimmied up next to me at the bar to apologize for his behavior.  I still called him out, especially since he's in his mid-twenties and should know better.  At some point his mom and sister came up, quietly listening to our conversation.  His mom interrupts up by saying 'No offense, Niki, but your kids are out of control.'

I stood there, not sure how I should respond before walking away in tears.  I was stressed out.  I hadn't been sleeping well, nor had I truly stopped moving during the previous two weeks.  I lost my shit, blubbering at a table in the back, before leaving.  No one needed the hot mess I'd become at the bar and I knew I wasn't calming down anytime soon.

Walking out of the bar, G followed me saying we still needed to talk.  I kept putting him off, knowing I wasn't in any shape.  Up walks J, whose house we're all supposed to be at on Thanksgiving.  The three of us are standing there, tipsy from the celebration with my added tears thrown on top.  G's mom starts yelling saying she didn't do anything.  G yells back.  I walk away.

And then comes the email last night.  I responded about what I'm bringing without really paying attention to who else will be there.  Once I saw the name's, I started crying.  Irrationally crying.  I'm letting a person hobble me emotionally to the point I start crying when I start thinking about her, her son and what'll happen this time.  I know I'm overreacting yet I can't help myself.

All of this is making me realize I need to get my meds checked.  Or get a script for something that'll take the edge off when I become a hot mess.