Here's a new experience

Since moving to Kansas we went with an aircard for internet instead of normal DSL. Such a fun thing to use since I'm typing this on the road as we drive down to Atlanta.

Currently there's traffic snarl just north of Nashville. Jason's listening to football on the radio, the boys are on a munchkin high so there's just a few giggles coming from the back. Me? I'm attempting to ignore all the noise around me especially the calls for watching a movie on the computer. Nuh uh, not when I can putz around online since I can't read a book at the moment.

Bah Humbug

And I shouldn't be feeling this way on Christmas Eve. The boys are sitting on the couch watching holiday shows. The fire is burning in the fireplace in hopes my frozen toes will defrost. I'm typing away in a vicodin high with the idea I can dull some of the pain in my back. I don't know why I expected things to go smoothly this week since the month started with a chunk of change being thrown at the van.

Saturday had an ER visit with Brendan. I was there on Sunday for a massive UTI which is being treated empirically. Try telling my body things aren't so bad in my urine when I'm doubled over in pain, sobbing and can't stop vomiting. Such is the joys of being a woman. Yesterday I threw my back out by simply getting out of the recliner. I really should have gone to the ER for massive quantities of muscle relaxers. You can feel how much the left side has seized up, which further questions my sanity in not going to the ER. I couldn't though. My limit on ER visits is two per week, not three, thank you very much. You can feel how much the left side has seized up, which further questions my sanity in not getting the right drugs.

So here I sit on the same recliner I threw my back out, typing away in my vicodin high the night before Christmas. The boys are laughing, enjoying the idea of Santa coming tonight. All would be better if there was a glass of spiked nog sitting next to me instead of Mountain Dew.

Holiday baking goes bust

This year my gifts for the boys teachers and friends would be baked goods. The ambitious part of me had grand ideas of all sorts of goodies along the lines of what Mom did back in the day. The realistic part of me realized this was all a fantasy.

Still, I had plans in baking several different cookie and loaf recipes. I started with a low-carb oatmeal pecan cookie recipe from Weight Watchers. This would be the one healthy recipe made. All three boys helped add all the ingredients, talking animatedly about the cookies. I dolled out the first tray, popped it in the oven, turned the timer on and waited.

The cookies flattened out on the baking stone. Melted is the best description for how they looked. I scraped up the oatmeal bits so the boys could see how the glop turned out. Rather tasty considering the hideous mess left on the stone. With this fiasco I decided to turn the cookies into cookie bars. I scooped the rest of the batch into a pan and popped it into the oven.

At some point I checked on the cookies turned into cookie bars. They were bubbling over the edges, glopping onto the bottom of the oven where it started to burn. I kept an eye on the oven despite the impending mess for a few more minutes before realizing this recipe truly failed. I haven't a clue who came up with this disaster at Weight Watchers but my failed attempt didn't match their picture. No crisp looking oatmeal pecan cookies came piping hot out of my oven. Instead I pulled out piping hot goo.

Do we smell?

Jason made a comment several weeks back on how it's nice having good neighbors who actually help us out when asked. For some reason most of the places we've lived the nice has been all lip service.

I started talking with Carrie about this rather common phenomenon in the military. We've both experienced the same thing with our respective neighbors. For me I can't help think it's Jason and I which causes this behavior in others. While I know this isn't true some part must be true for it to keep happening.

I'm not saying our neighbors haven't helped us out because they have. When I moved the boys and I from Auerbach to Grafenwoehr our neighbors helped. Once we left the street we became persona non grata. I tried gathering everyone together for dinner in thanks only it felt as if we dropped off the face of the earth. Everyone had a reason why they couldn't come over but they had no problem doing things with each other on our old street or when they all moved to a completely different city. Although this is the same neighborhood where I got the 'we help each other out all the time' which was a complete bullshit phrase being uttered from their mouths. The few times I needed help with the boys, those three people fumbled around for their excuses.

Or maybe I should look at this from a purely military perspective. You're a good neighbor as long as you live there. Once you move you no longer exist. I know from talking with others they've felt this just as much as I have. This troubles me because we're all in the same situation you'd think we'd bond together in some type of solidarity. Doesn't happen especially if you don't fall into their unwritten rules of how a spouse should behave. Or whatever they have going through their heads.

It's just nice knowing we have neighbors who actually follow through on their saying ask us for anything. Or who'll help out in a pinch as I've run across the street to Jan when a swarm of wasps came out of the bushes I was trimming back. Or Tom helping carry in our new chair as he saw us struggling one night while walking his dog. Things like this never happened before without a feeling of our imposing on those being asked. We'll enjoy this giddy feeling of neighborly good while it lasts.

Things I've learned recently

1. You can take a battery out of a car when it's running. Really, you can. I witnessed this last night.

2. Barney the Dinosaur is still evil.

3. Bringing your own bags to the store gets the groceries packed more efficiently.

4. I still can't reason with a two year old even if it's my third time around.

5. I love winter. Hate the wind.

6. I can't braid my hair for shit.

7. My hair is long enough to braid.

8. Apparently I still intimidate people.

9. We went to war with the Philippines in 1899 (I think that was the year).

10. Seeing the awe in your kids eyes when they witness it snowing still gives me the warm and fuzzies.

The Spawn of Satan lives in our house.

Otherwise known as Jake. He's hit the terrible two's something fierce I don't even know where to begin in curbing the tantrums. At least Jason experienced a brief moment last night when attempting to wrangle Jake into his pajama's.

So much of this is coming from his not able to let us know what's bothering him. While he signs and speaks better at this age compared with Brendan and Colin it's still not good enough. Diversions work sometimes as do distractions. Otherwise it's full on wailing. Laughing or mocking him does nada. The older two usually stopped with the mocking from Jason or I. Not Jake. He only gets louder.

It's possible he's cutting another molar. I say possible only because he wasn't this grizzly with the first one unless he's cutting multiples. If that's the case, he gets a pass on being the wanker he's been the past few weeks. Giving him Tylenol or Rescue Remedy hasn't calmed him down at his worst.

I'm still betting on our giving birth to the Spawn of Satan. It's the only explanation of our Jake goes from loving two year old to a screaming banshee running amok in the neighborhood.

What do you think?

The things we say in public

What is it about Target which brings out the oddest sayings from kids? Is it because we're distracted in finding the crap we need while keeping their hands off of every object in sight? There's a reason why I'd rather go by myself because you won't find me uttering 'you're the reason why birth control was invented' out loud. Or looking up and seeing the shock on people's faces from their lack of humor.

We're at the tail end of our Target shopping, again hurried so much so I forgot to use my coupons. Damnit. I don't know what in the hell Brendan and Colin saw for this question but they wouldn't stop asking. Loudly, very, very loudly.

'Mom, can we buy some pot?'

'You want to buy pot?'

'Yes' in chorus.

'Do you even know what you're asking for?'

'We want to buy some pot. Do you know what it is?'

At this point I'm laughing hoping someone hasn't overheard us. I can only imagine the horror with furious whisperings to call child services on me. All I want to know is what sparked this question of theirs. Last I knew Target hadn't become drug dealers.

ETA: Upon further grilling in the kitchen at home we found out they saw a teapot at Target. Instead of asking for a teapot or kettle, they just asked for pot. Even Jason almost choked when I told him what the boys were asking for last night.

I have a workout buddy. Or two. Sometimes three.

Actually it really all depends upon when I'm in the gym as to who I work out with. Once I realized who Jackie was (she's married to one of Jason's classmates) we started meeting up at the gym around the same time. After I started working at the gym our meet ups became less often. Now we're averaging 2-3 times a month.

I will say I am the one who got her running again. Funny how she's now running upwards of 6miles while I'm lucky to get 2 under my belt. She is in better shape then me, though. And I got her into spin on Monday night. She did great considering how short she is and not being able to adjust the bike properly.

The second workout buddy is becoming my supervisor. She started taking spin after me only Renee is a tad more consistent with the classes. Hey, being hobbled by illness does a number on a body. We try taking classes together since we're in the same boat shape wise with common goals of weight loss and physical fitness.

The third is by way of Jackie. Usually we workout together when Jackie is there. While I know Christie and talk with her when she's dropping off her son, I still feel odd hoping on the treadmill next to her. She's a solitary person like me when it comes to working out on the treadmill. Although I will say having someone to talk with while running takes ones mind off the pain.

This also reminds me I must update the music on my shuffle.