And I wonder why I'm sick

The week started off innocently enough as a random sore throat. The occasional hacking loogy was there with the intermittent cough. As the week progressed, the throat became more swollen and scratchy. The lungs are fighting back. The pain is, well, a pain in my fucking ass. I've been popping Tylenol like their Tums while I shine a flashlight down my throat.

All during this week Jason has been working on stripping the paint off the walls and glue crap on the basement floor. The haze! The fumes! The air we're breathing! It's no wonder more of us aren't hacking within the walls of our house.

At least I'm not the only one hacking. Jason is firmly entrenched in the same misery.

You're not in code.

The electricians came out today since we, I mean Jason, knows his limitations. Several of the junction boxes and lights were not in code, something which doesn't surprise us one bit. They're coming back next week to install recess lighting in the basement. I refuse to have anymore fluorescent lights down there. Okay, so it's also because we don't want the pain in the arse drop ceilings either.

Jason's been trying to remove the old paint on the cinder block. The only thing working at the moment is grinding it off. This results in a fine haze making it's way upstairs. He'll come out covered in gray soot and his mask completely dark. None of this crap is helping us feel any better since we're both fighting something off at the moment. He's ordered a product which is supposedly guaranteed to work. Keep your fingers crossed because I don't want anymore dust.

I'm tired of dusting and vacuuming daily because of this shite. It's everywhere. I know I'm missing quite a bit since I won't move furniture around. He didn't realize how bad it got up here until the other day. The last time he'd worked down there I'd mention the haze. I also said I didn't know how much was coming from downstairs or my glasses buggering my eyes. I haven't been wearing my contacts very much so it was a likely excuse.

One of these days we'll have a functioning basement again.

Look at the size of that thing!

No, I'm talking about the spanky, new iMac sitting in front of me. So very odd having a monitor this big. I haven't found the right distance for me yet. And then I got distracted.

I started filling the Nano up with music. We've lost so much through the years in downloads, etc., it's not even funny. We're going old school again and just buying cd's. Everything I've downloaded from itunes is gone. Half of emusic is gone. I was just looking for Tiger Army to load and it's gone. Fuckity fuck fuck. Stupid technology.

Kung Fu Panda and Legos, oh my!

I'm sitting here at the table listening to the sounds of Kung Fu Panda in the background while the older two build their new Star Wars Lego sets. Is there a better way to start a Sunday morning? Didn't think so.

The kids made out like bandits again this year. No one, including Jason, have taken off their spanky new slippers. Jake is regularly seen wandering around the house in his Iron Man helmet. It's rather comical since he looks like a bobble head wearing the helmet.

One of their bestest gifts came from Uncle Josh and Uncle Dewey. They were give measuring tapes, mini flashlights, fat pencils and air horns. Fortunately the air horns lost their power on Friday night. The measuring tapes? The boys LOVE them. They've been measuring everything and anything in the house. Hours of fun, even more so than a slinky.

Me? I was dumbfounded by unwrapping packages regarding a new computer. An iMac to be specific. Jason even got me a magic thinkpad for the mouse. Our laptop is sluggish and dying a slow death. We've been talking about finally plunking down for a Mac this next go around. I wasn't expecting the gift for Christmas. He went with the iMac vs a netbook because they cost the same. Yes, I was gauche enough to question him on this since I thought we'd go for the netbook. Portability does have its uses.

It was a good day yesterday.

I'll be hiding in my cave until Christmas is over

The first official day of winter break and all hell broke loose before 8:30am. Really, children, is this how it's going to be? Colin went off the deep end because Jake stole his Santa hat. He then proceeded in pinching Jake until he broke skin. Why? Because Jake refused to get off his bed.

I'm not prepared for this. There isn't enough mind numbing crap in the house to take the edge off of the drama.

Holy crap, I have generous kids

I started baking on Sunday for the goodies will be giving to the kids teachers and our neighbors. I sent Brendan and Colin to school with tins full of cookies for their teachers. The rest of the morning I finished up my holiday baking.

As I'm waiting for the boys after school I see Brendan coming towards me with his cookie tin. When he gets into the van I asked why he didn't give it to his teacher. He, and Colin, both passed out the cookies to their classmates. They took my saying it's for your teachers as 'hey, lets share with everyone!' Brendan said it was the nice thing to do. I thanked them for their generosity, saying it was nice.

This morning I restocked the tins and promptly forgot them in my yelling to get the kids out the door. At least their teachers will have a bit of a different fare this time around.

In other holiday news, Colin hasn't taken his santa hat off since I bought them on Monday. Brendan lost his at school and Jake waffles between wearing his and tossing it around. Colin asked for two weeks if I'd get them santa hats. He is very happy I obliged.

We're not big on traditions so I haven't gone gungho on holiday crap. Things are added each year as the kids get older. We have blue christmas trees, ornament garlands and santa hats this year. I'm thinking I might go squirrely and get solar powered outdoor lights next year.

Cookie Galore.

Yesterday was spent baking cookies. I forgot how much my back hurts from standing all day. My new recipe for this year was a caramel pumpkin cookie. I will never make this one again. I greased pans. I used parchment paper. Those fucking cookies stuck like you wouldn't believe. I had mangled, but tasty, caramel pumpkin cookies.

The others I baked were called little treasures (chock full of nuts and two kinds of chocolate chips), pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and lemon drops. Today is set aside for feather gingerbread, guinness applesauce cake (for which I need more walnuts) and nanaimo bars.

I was going to make marshmallows but think I'll do those for Christmas Eve. We're going over to Uncle J and Uncle D's house for dinner. I think the boys will appreciate the marshmallows in their hot chocolate.

Lazy buggers. I mean, neighbors.

This year is showing once again who can't be arsed in shoveling their sidewalks after the snow came on Thursday. It's only a wee bit of snow but annoying nonetheless thanks to the ice forming underneath.

Last year was a fucking nightmare with the feet of snow one had to traipse through. It became easier in some blocks to walk in the middle of the road instead of sinking knee deep into snow on the sidewalk.

Whatever happened to showing a little respect towards your neighbors? Funny enough, many of the corner houses don't shovel their walks. The townhouse community across the street? Only a handful of the residents shovel their walks. The president of their HOA is one the lazy ones. The rest is contracted out with the snow removal people ignoring the sidewalks on the main road.

I understand the disabled or elderly not being able to get out there. They're given a pass and those of us living near them jump in as needed. Everyone else? Fucking lazy arses who should be fined.

The trifecta is complete

Jake will be getting services for speech after the holidays. I finally got him tested this year for enunciation. I kept thinking things would change if I waited. If I'd known they wouldn't change he'd have gotten tested last year. I denied myself free time this fall! Gah.

Jason and I wouldn't have been surprised if Jake had a speech delay like his older brothers. The fact he didn't was the surprise. He became a regular chatterbox for his age. We didn't sign with him as we did with the older two. The fact I have trouble understanding him brought us in for testing.

Brendan tested out once he turned 3 and didn't require anything for enunciation. Colin is still in speech and looks as if he'll be out by the end of the year. Not sure what Jake's timeline will be. He's also going in for social testing. I'd brought this up during his second screening. He's just under the cut off for services, scoring a 55 when the cut off is 62.

We don't know if the social part is coming from age, stubbornness (because holy fuck is this child stubborn) or what. The concern is his not being ready for kindergarten next year if he drops the ball around those he's comfortable with. Even the speech pathologist was on the fence in further testing.

Brendan's also going through ADHD testing. There's definitely an attention deficit issue going on but my gut says it's not on the level of ADHD. He goes in next month for a sit down with the doctor. He may get further testing. He may get put on meds right then. All we know is the school won't support us until he's failing. Jason and I don't want him failing.

We're looking at 3 kids having IEP's at the same time. I can do this paperwork in my sleep now. It's a constant struggle advocating for our kids to make sure their voices are heard.

Procrastination, how do I love the? Let me count the ways.

I have one more assignment for my last class and I'm done. All the research has been done. Websites gathered for source material. The project is only 3-4 paragraphs on what I'd like to be as a grown-up or the reason I'm trying to get my arse into nursing school. Simple. Easy. Yet I'm avoiding this task like the plague. If I don't get it done today I always have tomorrow.

On a completely different subject, we have a tree! A fake, prelit, 7.5ft tree is happily decorated in the corner. Trying to find a decent prelit tree in the stores this year has been a nightmare. Everything is either out of stock in store or not sold online. We should have bought the tree when they first made an appearance in store. See the above paragraph about procrastination since it also applies towards trees.

Jake spazzed out yesterday in helping me decorate. His zeal caused several broke ornaments and candy canes. I had to very carefully go around him as I found new homes for some ornaments. While he didn't cluster them in a giant ornament disaster there were a few hanging a tad close. I haven't decided when the boys will start eating the candy canes off of the tree. Perhaps after winter break starts.

We're still missing a topper since the one I got years ago is rather heavy for a fake tree. Our last fake tree could handle the star in a rather lopsided way. This new one wants to be Charlie Brown's Christmas Trees older brother. In the meantime, the old topper is sitting on our mantel by the blue tree. It rather matches everything we have up there now.

You're how old?

I have no illusions about how I look. I need to lose weight. There are crows feet around my eyes. I don't moisturize like I should. The past month I've been carded twice. I had the guy last night thinking my age was a good 10 yrs younger than I am. Even our mailperson thought I wasn't older than 28.

While I'm flattered about people thinking I'm younger than my 37 I can't help but wonder how fucked up their sense of age is. I can understand being off by a few years but 10? I'm on the downside of 35. There is no passing for 30 anymore. This is what happens when you age. Now I wonder how long my neglect can keep me looking young enough that I surprise people when they find out my age.

One class down

Last night I took my last exam in NAS 161. My gut is I'll get around the same grade as the previous exam. While I rocked out the bone portion, the muscle section gave me the finger.

I'm holding steady at a C in the class thanks to bombing my first two exams. Sadly, I'm actually one of the better ones in the class. This speaks volumes about how our professor taught the class. His tests were interesting to say the least. Only one time did he give us a study guide and followed the guide in his exam.

My only concern is not getting into the nursing program. The rumors abound as to wait lists, difficulty, what you need, etc.. Yesterday I heard there's a one year wait for the program. While this doesn't affect me too much a fellow student will be screwed if it's true. She's on scholarship with a local hospital with the caveat she'll be in nursing school next fall. Another student had a friend denied acceptance in the dental program because she got a B in NAS 161. Depending upon the program the minimum grade is a C. Oy.

I'm beginning to accept the fact I could very well be denied acceptance the first time around based upon who you talk with. We've all been told different things. If I don't get in for next year I'll continue working on as much of the program I can without actually taking nursing classes.

I don't like Mondays

Actually, it's more along the lines of not liking this particular Monday. Things didn't start out very well once I realized the fresh pot of coffee I made wouldn't get drunk by me. My stomach has been doing knots ever since I woke up. Chalking it all up to my last test tonight which I'm woefully unprepared for. Instead of studying I've been reading, poking around on the internet, buying gifts for my niece and nephew. Pretty much everything in my power in keeping myself from cracking open my science book.

On a brighter note our tree is on the way through the postal system. We did a real tree last year and decided it's not happening again. More from not wanting to clean out the sap in the tree stand because I don't even know where to start with the gooey mess. Between Jason and I we've combed the stores all over our area. Finding a decent priced tree is a bitch. Or having any stock of fake, pre-lit trees in the store is a bitch. I keep forgetting we're in a densely packed area of human bodies.

Realistically I know a pre-lit tree is a bit costly. Only I don't want to pay the cost even knowing it'll pay for itself within 2-3 years. Seeing our neighbors tree almost had me canceling the order and hitting up Home Depots tree sale. They got a beautiful live tree for $20. But no, I don't want to deal with putting up any lights. I don't exactly enjoy all the knicks I get from the needles, real or fake be damned.

Screw hair of the dog

My only goal today is regaining the ability to function.

It's 2pm. I'm still in pajamas. My stomach has finally stopped the roller coaster ride from the liquor and inadequate sleep. I need a nap before I can even consider studying for my last lecture exam tomorrow night.

My only advice is saying no if someone offers you rum punch.

Counting Sheep

Disclaimer: This post will most likely be incoherent, babbling nonsense. Be warned.

I'd like a decent nights sleep. I haven't had one in well over a month. Make that years but you'll understand the month part in a second. I finished phase one of P90X last week. What's the one thing you always hear about working out? It helps you sleep better at night. Not so for me.

The first part of the night I sleep pretty well. At some point I wake up and it's over. I lay in bed listening to the sounds going on around me. Perhaps Jason is snoring. Murphy could be snuffling his bum. Occasionally I'll hear Colin's voice from across the hall. I don't go back to sleep for the rest of the night.

I've had issues with sleeping well at night for years. Throw kids into the mix, one snoring husband and I don't know what a decent nights sleep is like. Finally being almost consistent in working out I thought a change might happen. I'm being denied one of the best touted benefits in working out. No sleep.

I demand a refund on the sleep crap. If you find out who I can write too, I'll be over in the corner with my coffee.

Does it get better?

The mornings have been hell the past few weeks. Brendan and Jake are bouncing off the walls to the point I'm losing my patience before 8am rolls around. Things start off quietly enough before dissolving into chaos.

I don't know how much of this plays into whatever issue Brendan has going on or what. I do know I am at my wits end. Brendan blames Jake. Jake blames Brendan. Throw Colin into the blaming mix and it's everyone's fault.

Who likes being yelled at before school every single day? Apparently my kids do because they won't listen to a normal voice. Taking privileges away only does so much. The Santa carrot isn't making a budge into their behavior.

Can I hide in a cave until this is over? Will it ever be over?

We dropped the ball, ma'am

And then some.

Last year we had the official meeting at school regarding Brendan's whatever is going on within his head. Head, who said head? I digress. The school psychologist kept bringing up attention deficit issues which about had my husband lunging over the table at him. Nothing really came of the meeting other than we need to go through our pediatrician before the school will support Brendan within the classroom.

I finally get off my arse and talk with the boy's pediatrician this summer, thus starting months of waiting. Paperwork is given to his current teacher but the school won't release it to us. We miss the first appointment with the doctor because of this and get another referral put in for Brendan. Talking with the school vice-principal there isn't a reason why they couldn't hand the paperwork to me. Just their protocol, which isn't even in writing.

I get a hold of the clinic we need, do the phone consult with the call ending in our thinking we had an appointment for yesterday. I'm honestly surprised I didn't get hives at some point within the past two days.

Calling Tuesday I was told I can't expect an appointment for the next day. When I questioned him on this based upon our first conversation he told me I should have called him back. Apparently he gets away with not doing his job in telling parents this bit of information. I'm then told the next available appointment is for January 19th. Fine, give it to me even though you screwed up this one.

A few hours later I get a call back saying there's an opening the next and I need to get all of the paperwork in before 1:30pm. The call was at 1pm. Their fax machine was busy the whole time, which I'm told I can just wait at the post office until it's not busy. So I scan 16 pages and get it to another person by 2pm.

7am rolls around and I call to see if we're still on for the appointment. He doesn't know if the doctor got the paperwork but he'll find out and call me back. 8am rolls around and I'm calling since I need to be out of the house by 8:30am. A different person tells me I don't have an appointment and never should have been told I could be squeezed in the day before. My response is 'I scrambled yesterday in getting everything to you' on top of relaying the conversation with the other person. I'm then put on hold off and on for 25 minutes trying to figure out how they can salvage this muck up.

The original person calls at one point yesterday saying he's talked with the doctor and they realize what happened is jacked up. You think? They dropped the ball on us, tried blaming me for not calling back to double check, have me scrambling at their beck and call, but it's okay because you realize it's jacked up?

Forgive me if I call bullshit on your apology.