Screw hair of the dog

My only goal today is regaining the ability to function.

It's 2pm. I'm still in pajamas. My stomach has finally stopped the roller coaster ride from the liquor and inadequate sleep. I need a nap before I can even consider studying for my last lecture exam tomorrow night.

My only advice is saying no if someone offers you rum punch.

Counting Sheep

Disclaimer: This post will most likely be incoherent, babbling nonsense. Be warned.

I'd like a decent nights sleep. I haven't had one in well over a month. Make that years but you'll understand the month part in a second. I finished phase one of P90X last week. What's the one thing you always hear about working out? It helps you sleep better at night. Not so for me.

The first part of the night I sleep pretty well. At some point I wake up and it's over. I lay in bed listening to the sounds going on around me. Perhaps Jason is snoring. Murphy could be snuffling his bum. Occasionally I'll hear Colin's voice from across the hall. I don't go back to sleep for the rest of the night.

I've had issues with sleeping well at night for years. Throw kids into the mix, one snoring husband and I don't know what a decent nights sleep is like. Finally being almost consistent in working out I thought a change might happen. I'm being denied one of the best touted benefits in working out. No sleep.

I demand a refund on the sleep crap. If you find out who I can write too, I'll be over in the corner with my coffee.

Does it get better?

The mornings have been hell the past few weeks. Brendan and Jake are bouncing off the walls to the point I'm losing my patience before 8am rolls around. Things start off quietly enough before dissolving into chaos.

I don't know how much of this plays into whatever issue Brendan has going on or what. I do know I am at my wits end. Brendan blames Jake. Jake blames Brendan. Throw Colin into the blaming mix and it's everyone's fault.

Who likes being yelled at before school every single day? Apparently my kids do because they won't listen to a normal voice. Taking privileges away only does so much. The Santa carrot isn't making a budge into their behavior.

Can I hide in a cave until this is over? Will it ever be over?

We dropped the ball, ma'am

And then some.

Last year we had the official meeting at school regarding Brendan's whatever is going on within his head. Head, who said head? I digress. The school psychologist kept bringing up attention deficit issues which about had my husband lunging over the table at him. Nothing really came of the meeting other than we need to go through our pediatrician before the school will support Brendan within the classroom.

I finally get off my arse and talk with the boy's pediatrician this summer, thus starting months of waiting. Paperwork is given to his current teacher but the school won't release it to us. We miss the first appointment with the doctor because of this and get another referral put in for Brendan. Talking with the school vice-principal there isn't a reason why they couldn't hand the paperwork to me. Just their protocol, which isn't even in writing.

I get a hold of the clinic we need, do the phone consult with the call ending in our thinking we had an appointment for yesterday. I'm honestly surprised I didn't get hives at some point within the past two days.

Calling Tuesday I was told I can't expect an appointment for the next day. When I questioned him on this based upon our first conversation he told me I should have called him back. Apparently he gets away with not doing his job in telling parents this bit of information. I'm then told the next available appointment is for January 19th. Fine, give it to me even though you screwed up this one.

A few hours later I get a call back saying there's an opening the next and I need to get all of the paperwork in before 1:30pm. The call was at 1pm. Their fax machine was busy the whole time, which I'm told I can just wait at the post office until it's not busy. So I scan 16 pages and get it to another person by 2pm.

7am rolls around and I call to see if we're still on for the appointment. He doesn't know if the doctor got the paperwork but he'll find out and call me back. 8am rolls around and I'm calling since I need to be out of the house by 8:30am. A different person tells me I don't have an appointment and never should have been told I could be squeezed in the day before. My response is 'I scrambled yesterday in getting everything to you' on top of relaying the conversation with the other person. I'm then put on hold off and on for 25 minutes trying to figure out how they can salvage this muck up.

The original person calls at one point yesterday saying he's talked with the doctor and they realize what happened is jacked up. You think? They dropped the ball on us, tried blaming me for not calling back to double check, have me scrambling at their beck and call, but it's okay because you realize it's jacked up?

Forgive me if I call bullshit on your apology.

You know you're jealous

I handled Escherichia coli and you didn't. Also staph. Only the doom and gloom seems more virulent E. coli compared to staph thanks to the news. Sure, MRSA made everyone flip out a few years back it doesn't have the Grim Reaper undertones as E. coli does.

If I did my stains properly I'll have lovely colonies of E. coli and staph waiting for me on Monday. If you find me on my deathbed you'll know I screwed up somewhere.

There are no rocks big enough

for my butt, that is. I've been merrily denying my weight issues for awhile. Mostly due to the fact I haven't changed sizes. Yet. The next size up is looming right around the corner unless I get myself back into some type of consistent routine. I swear, willpower is a mother f*cker at times. And my issues are boiling down to a lack of willpower. I need a carrot so my butt gets back into gear again. I know there is one out there for me. One day I will find mine to share.

This past year I've gained twenty pounds. Not sure exactly why since my eating hasn't been out of the norm. Activity levels have been fairly consistent with the occasional forays into full couch potato status. Only I'm up 20 odd pounds in a year. The one and only thing keeping me from despair is being in the same size. Wearing a pair of jeans I couldn't put on in December helps too.

I feel I make excuses for my weight not coming off when I do make the commitment. I have a bad back, thyroid issues, 3 kids, been on antidepressants since '02. All of these have contributed to my weight gain and struggle in moving the scale down. During the time I'm working out consistently or eating differently I struggle for the littlest gain. The next time I'm at the endocrinologist I'm bringing this up if I haven't seen a change with this current getting back on the band wagon.

At my heaviest, I weight 222lbs. Like the first time I lost weight (got to love working in a coffee shop) I started with small changes in my eating habits and started moving. The weight came off pretty quickly the first time. Only there were two huge differences: no kids or car accident. I was able to lose 45lbs when I got pregnant with Jake. Up until the past year I was steady at 180lbs or so.

Now? I don't know what's happening. I've tried a few times in sticking with P90X then something happens. My back giving out. Mom's surgery. Illness. Excuses.

School starts in a week for the boys. We've talked about walking in the mornings with the occasional walk in the afternoons. I'm slowly adjusting my eating habits. I know there's a problem with certain foods I eat which could be causing other problems. One of these days things might stick long enough for me to see a difference again.

Food Allergies and Birthdays

Baking in the oven are chocolate cupcakes for Colin's birthday at school tomorrow. Not ordinary cupcakes but gluten free cupcakes. This is the first time I'm trying the mix since I don't have any gluten free cake recipes sitting on my bookshelf. Nor any of the ingredients so I'm going the easy method in baking out of a box.

Originally Colin wanted me to make peanut butter chocolate cupcakes. His eyes shined with the thought of having those made for this birthday and passing them around the lunch table. I had him ask his teacher if there were any food allergies in his class because that could change what I make. He said it wouldn't be a problem.

The next day he comes home saying someone in his class has a peanut allergy. With this bit of knowledge I told him I'd bake different cupcakes for school and the peanut butter chocolate ones would be for home.

I find out later in the week the same student has a gluten allergy on top of the peanut allergy. He still wanted me to make cupcakes because it was okay for this student to be left out. I asked him if they were always left out. He said yes. I asked him how he'd feel being left out of a birthday celebration and he said he'd be sad. When I asked him if I should make something everyone could enjoy, the same shining eyes turned to me and he loudly said yes.

I left a message with his teacher confirming the two allergies and if this was the case I would make gluten free cupcakes. I got back a note thanking me for thinking of the student but it was okay to make what I wanted. The student's mom normally packs something special for when birthday's are celebrated at the school.

I don't like having a student left out because nobody bothered in finding out if there were any allergies in the class. Food allergies are common these days. It shouldn't come as a surprise a child might be allergic to every day products we all take for granted. While some allergies are pretty easy in working around some take a bit of educating oneself before whipping up a cake. Or something.

Fortunately I am only working around a gluten and peanut allergy. While I could have gone out, bought a gluten free cookbook and all the ingredients, we're fortunate enough food companies are recognizing these allergies more and more. I bought a gluten free cake mix from a box and dairy free/wheat free oreo's for the decoration.

I don't know how these cupcakes will come out. I will say they smell delicious.